"Now that the Arab masses are applying the universal lessons of democracy, human rights and the rule of law in taking down their authoritarian governments, it is time they take back the learning of history, too. That includes teaching their children the universal lessons of the Holocaust." (Robert Satloff, "Why Palestinians Should Learn About the Holocaust," The New York Times, March 29, 2011)
My translation and corrections:
"I, Robert Satloff, Executive Director of AIPAC's Kahal for Judaizing U.S. Foreign Policy which we deceptively call 'Washington Institute for Near East Policy,' don't subscribe to universal rights and values myself but I invoke such concepts when speaking to the Goyim because they like that goyishe dreck.
"We've trained the Goyim to believe that 'authoritarians' are evil so we call the people we want them to hate 'authoritarian' so they won't care when we send Goy armies to bomb and kill the 'authoritarians' and anyone within hundreds of miles of them. We launch our invasions of the 'authoritarian' nations on our day of vengeance, Purim so the shrewd Yidden know these wars are for us. The dumb Goyim don't understand these things.
"Once the 'authoritarians' (whom we have oftentimes installed in the first place) are hung like Haman, we bring in 'Democracy' and by framing and controlling the discourse and selective distribution of funds we 'democratically' install another leader who will assert our self-chosen authority by proxy.
By character and literal assassination we eliminate opposition to our proxies by any intelligent, benevolent person who would represent the common good of the native population because that would be against our interest.
"This is where we spring our guilt chambers on the Arabs (get it? 'Arab Spring'?). We can't have Arabs thinking they are more persecuted than us as we bomb and shoot them and steal their land and resources so we'll send them to the guilt chambers and then they'll behave more like the stupid Americans who kill for us even as we heap tens of trillions of dollars of debt upon them.
"Trillions in unpayable debt is another thing we'll spring on those Arabs when the 'authoritarians' are gone. It will keep them docile, like the Americans, except when we want them to kill.
"We'll spring 'dialogue' on them which means that we will authoritatively dictate our terms to them while striking insincere poses of mutual respect and understanding.
We'll spring religious leaders on them who wear traditional garments but impose Holocaust guilt on them like we've done to those stupid Catholics. We'll have the Arabs prostrating themselves before our holy Holocaust relics and, like the Catholics, they'll be no trouble to us as we build our Jewish kingdom. Then we will marvel at how greatly Hashem has blessed us."